the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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