I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
