I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
