I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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