he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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