I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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