Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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