this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
