also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize