I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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