yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
