Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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