We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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