69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
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She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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