wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
