He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
