I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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