some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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