I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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