Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
