i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
