At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sext me about skeletons
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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