I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
