I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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