remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
