My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
