we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
