We're facebook friends in real life
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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