I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
