no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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