Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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