sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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