If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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