I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What changed your mind?
Being sober
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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