Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
we're so committed to being not committed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
