just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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