before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
