Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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