Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
