Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
