WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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