we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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