at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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