My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Drunk is not a location!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
