My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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