Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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