do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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