What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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