the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
