sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
