people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
