xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
