I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
