What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
