I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
